Watching from Afar
by Shitsuren69
Summary: His heart always hurt from watching the Sky from afar. And Rain never took him seriously. Gokudera-cenfic 8059, 5927, 8027. Oneshot


I'm actually kinda against YamaGoku, but it seems fitting to write this one.

Main Pairings: YamamotoGokudera, GokuderaTsuna, YamamotoTsuna

Mentioned Pairings: TsunaKyoko, HaruTsuna

Warning: Gokudera's foul language! Slight mature themes

I don't own.

* * *

For as long as he could remember, Gokudera Hayato was in love with the Vongola Tenth. It was an obvious thing, or so Bianchi had said. But of course, Bianchi was a woman. And Gokuera had found that women had a rather uncanny ability to detect someone in love. Take Haru, for example. If Gokudera got within a meter of his Sky, the girl bounced out of nowhere, declaring her voice in her loud, obnoxious voice. And every time he glared at her, she would glare back with surprising fury in her eyes. Then there was that Kyoko girl…

Gokudera swore that she knew the Tenth's feelings. It was in her soft manners. She knew she wasn't the one. So she would softly push away the Sky. Whispering with her actions that she loved him as a friend. Nothing more. And just as gently, she would hold the vibrant brown eyes with her own. This crushed Gokudera the most. She loved him, yes, even the bomber could see that. But she pushed the Tenth away because… because why? Did she understand that she could never be anything to the Vongola Tenth? Did those gentle eyes understand that without knowing why she could not love that man?

But the part that bothered Gokudera the most was Kyoko's glance at him. After the Tenth tried to defend her or compliment her, she would laugh hollowly and glance at Gokudera. Almost as if she was begging for forgiveness. Almost as if she understood the pain in his eyes. And Gokudera would just scoff and look away.

_Don't look at me. Don't look at me with those eyes. He loves you. He loves _you_, dammit!_

That's why he was back there again. That's why he was with that stupid jerk. In that cold embrace of the Rain, the Storm Guardian could release that pent up frustration. He would rave, curse at those calm eyes. He would be violent, even if the case didn't call for it. But the cool Rain Guardian would just take it all with his usual smile. He would laugh that silly laugh and take it all.

"And why does he allow that stupid Haru to drool all over him? It's so disgusting! I want to get rid of her!"

Again, Yamamoto laughed, patting Gokudera's back friendly. "Maa maa! Haya-chan's so cute when he's jealous!" Yamamoto wrapped his arms around Gokudera, placing kisses on the tense bomber's back. "Relax," he whispered softly. "You have me."

And Gokudera's heart clenched painfully. _That's not what Tenth would say._ Gokudera thought bitterly. If he closed his eyes, the Storm Guardian could imagine the panicked expression on his Tenth's face. The Tenth would cling to him, begging him not to hurt Haru. And it wouldn't be because the Tenth liked Haru. No, it would be because the Tenth was a caring and loving person. It would be because the Tenth wanted all of his family to get along. Even after three years of being the young Vongola Boss, the Tenth did not change at all.

He snapped out of his thoughts when a hand runs down his chest. The stupid pervert was feeling him up again! But after the initial rush of anger, Gokudera relaxed. After all, no one could soothe as well as the Rain Guardian could. So Gokudera leaned into the touch, desperately wishing it was someone else. With his eyes still closed, he imagined the Tenth. Tenth's hands running over his body. Tenth's tongue over his sensitive spots… But the imagination is broken when Yamamoto bit down.

_This isn't what I want._ The thought would repeat over and over in the Storm's mind. But he would never push away the Rain Guardian. Without Yamamoto, Gokudera would be lost. How else would he rant out his anger? How else would he find someone to hang on to? A reason to hold on to? He couldn't obviously go to the Tenth. That would be disrespectful! The Tenth deserved someone better. Someone who could stand on par with him. Someone like…

"Maa maa Haya-chan, you're awfully calm today," Yamamoto said. He looked up at Gokudera's eyes, a teasing smile spreading on his face. "Am I being too rough for you?"

"Shut up, baseball freak!" Gokudera growled and pushed away Yamamoto. "I'm not in the mood today."

It frustrated Gokudera to no end. The only person that he had ever opened up to never took him seriously. He trusted that fucking baseball idiot! But always, that stupid idiot would just smile that goofy smile. And what annoyed Gokudera was that Yamamoto did have a serious side. There was a tiger, the Storm Guardian knew, hidden behind that smile of carelessness. But no. That serious side never came out when he was with Gokudera. It was only when…

Realization hit Gokudera harder than Hibari's tonfas. He froze for a second before he stifled a dark chuckle. He lowered his face until his bangs covered his eyes. Of course. He should have known. Didn't life always do this to him?

First it was his mother. A beautiful woman with a kind smile whose fingers play a melody that hunted Gokudera's memories. They were supposed to have met that day. They were supposed to celebrate Gokudera's eighth birthday together. But life had snatched her away from him. Next was his sister Bianchi. She who made Gokudera noxious with just a glance. She who rejected his hand for help so mercilessly. They had slowly rebuilt their relationship (after the Tenth's urgings), but there were still cracks in there. Gokudera could never trust that woman.

Who could forget the Tenth Boss of the Vongola? Gokudera had sworn to follow him as his right-hand-man. And gladly, Gokudera would throw his life away for him. But those soft words of the Tenth would always echo in his mind… _Don't throw your life away so easily! Let's watch the fireworks together! _Almost as if it was okay for them to be together. As if it was okay for Gokudera to feel these feelings. And it would crush his heart over and over again. From afar, the Storm watched the Sky. Storms always occured on earth. Storms could never reach the Sky. Always, he'll be stopped. Be it the Cloud that blocked his view, the Sun, who shooed him away like a small child, or sometimes even the Rain.

The fucking Rain, who stood in front of the white-haired teen with his usual carefree smile. Gokudera didn't even realize that he had his infamous dynamites in his hands. He didn't realize that he had lit them on fire. He didn't realize…

"Haya-chan! If you wanted to play rough, you just had to tell me," Yamamoto said still smiling.

_No_.

"I'm sick and tired of you!" Gokudera shouted. He threw the dynamites at random before running for the door.

"Wait! Hayato!" But Gokudera had already gone.

Yamamoto was left in his room by himself. "Maa Maa, does Haya-chan wants me to chase him? I thought he didn't want to me to be clingy?"

* * *

He wasn't too sure where he was running off to. All that mattered was that he _ran_. Don't stop. Never let anything hinder him. Just run. The sun beat down on him from the sky and he cursed at the planet. How dare you stand so close to the Sky? But when a cloud drifted and covered the sun, Gokudera cursed even loudly. And how dare you protect that stupid sun? Get out of the way, you're blocking my view of the Sky! Of… the…

Gokudera stopped running. He stared at the sight in front of him in disbelief. Was that… the Tenth? Yes! The bomber would recognize that brown hair anywhere! Happiness coursed through his veins causing his heart to beat faster. "Tenth," he whispered lovingly.

Then he paused.

_Yamamoto likes the Tenth._

Why did that thought crush his heart so much? Why did his heart feel like it was being squeezed? Why couldn't he breathe properly? What was that stabbing sensation deep in his chest? He loved the Tenth, yes. And for an eternity and a half, he had confided in the Rain Guardian. But the stupid baseball idiot had kept his own secret from him. That stupid idiot had loved the Tenth himself. And Gokudera had…

Tears? Hurricane Bomb Gokudera Hayato did not cry! There was just… just some dust in his eyes. That was all. He was just wiping the dust out…

"Gokudera-kun?"

_No! Don't look at me! Don't look at me when I'm so weak and pathetic. I don't deserve to be your right-hand man. I don't…_

"Gokudera-kun, are you-"

Without thinking, he reached out for his Sky. He held the Sky tightly in his arms. And with his head resting on the Sky's shoulder, he sobbed. _Gods! Why is it so comfortable here? Why is it so much easier here? _

"Please. Just for a while. Just for a little bit," Gokudera whispered against the Tenth's shoulder.

Softly, gently, the Tenth Vongola Boss placed one arm on Gokudera's head. "It'll be okay," he whispered softly. "We'll make it okay."

Few meters away, the Rain Guardian watched the two huddled figure with disinterested eyes. But if one looked closely, they would notice that his fists were clenched.

* * *

"Are you alright, Gokudera-kun?" Tsuna asked finally when his bomber had pulled himself together.

Gokudera froze. Lie to the Tenth? Never! But to flat out admit that his Storm Guardian and Rain Guardian were getting it on, both wishing they were with the Sky? Gokudera could see it now. The Tenth would hide his face, looking away from Gokudera in a rather shojo-manga-like manner. There would be tears pouring from the poor Vongola's current boss as he said, "Gokudera-kun! After I've trusted you as my right-hand man!!!"

"No Tenth! I haven't betrayed you!" Gokudera exclaimed. Then he paused when he realized that the Tenth was staring at him funny. _Shit. Did I just say that?_

Before Gokudera could reopen his mouth to correct himself, the brown haired boy smiled gently at him. "Nah Gokudera-kun, is this about Yamamoto?"

Pain. Why did his heart thud so loudly in his ears? Why did everything feel so damned clichéd? From his lack of answer, the Tenth sighed softly. Gokudera hated that sound. He hated that he had caused his beloved Sky to worry. He hated that it was him who made the Tenth sigh. He _hated _it.

"Gokudera-kun-"

But before the Tenth could squeeze in anything else, Gokudera blurted it out. His voice was filled with spite, his eyes scrunched tight in anger and… betrayal?

"Yamamoto loves you!"

There was a pause. Gokudera could feel the seconds ticking by, but he couldn't bring himself to move. He couldn't bring his head up to even glance at the Vongola Tenth. There was another dark feeling brewing inside of him and he didn't know how to handle it. All he wanted was to disappear. Perhaps then the Tenth would be happy. The Tenth would finally find happiness with Yamamoto because obviously those two would get together and-

"Goku-"

"Please!" He didn't know why he wasn't letting the Tenth speak. Perhaps he was fearful that the Tenth would hurt his heart. Would break his heart for good so that the bomber could never feel again. Or perhaps it was hope. In vain hope that by ignoring the Tenth, he would spare his heart. That his heart would breathe when he was away from the brown-haired boy. And that he would be okay. That even if the baseball idiot and the Tenth were together…

"Won't you please love him?"

Why did that one request shatter his soul? Why was he giving the Tenth a fake cheery smile? Why were his dry tear glands beginning to moisten again? Why was he running? He would hurt the Sky if he did something so bold. Why, oh why, did nothing matter anymore?

An arm grabbed Gokudera and spun him into a warm chest. Gokudera froze. He would recognize that chest anywhere. There was only one person with such strange combination of muscles. There was only one Yamamoto Takeshi.

"Idiot."

For the first time, Gokudera had nothing to say. He couldn't respond to that simple name. He couldn't say anything. Was he happy to feel the Rain Guardian so close to him again? Or was it just that he was emotionally tired? Was that why he allowed Yamamoto to hold him tightly in his grasp? Or was it…?

"My love for Tsuna is different from my love for you. Tsuna is… Tsuna is everything I will protect. The goodness of the Earth, the love for friends and family… He is the unattainable Sky that must never be soiled! But you… You're my Anger, my Voice. You're everything that I can never be in front of Tsuna! You're my Storm!" There's a slight crack in Yamamoto's voice. As if he, too, had been crying. Then with a small shudder, the Rain Guardian admitted with a firm voice what Gokudera wished he couldn't hear.

" Gokudera Hayato, I love you."

Slowly, the black-haired boy released Gokudera. And just as slowly, he stared into the bomber's eyes, waiting. Pleading. But what was he looking for, Gokudera wondered. What could the baseball nut possibly want?

"And you, Gokudera?" Yamamoto asked, his voice soft. But his eyes were serious. For once, the Rain Guardian was taking Storm seriously! "Do you love me?"

Did he love the Rain Guardian? The thought struck Gokudera like lightening. He loved the Tenth, yes. He had always loved the Tenth. But always, he had known that he would watch from the sidelines because the Tenth was unattainable. Because for someone like Gokudera, the Tenth was too pure. Too godly. But Yamamoto was different. The baseball idiot had always been different. He had joked with Gokudera, treated everything like a game, and worst of all, he always clung to the Tenth. Always, an arm would wrap about the Tenth's shoulders. Always that silly grin would haunt the Tenth. Always…

Gokudera choked with laughter. Gods! How could he have been so stupid? All this time, while telling himself he loved the Tenth, he had fallen for the baseball idiot! And now the Rain Guardian had figured out his own feelings and had just confessed to the Storm Guardian! But the Storm's heart would not let go of the Sky. No, instead, there was another place for the Rain. It was just as Yamamoto had said. Gokudera loved the Tenth, yes. But he also loved Yamamoto.

"You're the idiot!" he snapped at the waiting man. "What took you so long?"

He didn't mention that it was the Storm who ran out on him. The black-haired boy just smiled gently, genuinely. But just as quickly as that smile had come, Yamamoto was laughing with his usual mask. Gokudera watched carefully, feeling his heart close. All of Yamamoto loved the Tenth. His happy-go-lucky side, his serious side… all of it loved the Vongola Boss. But for Gokudera… Only the joker loved Gokudera. But wasn't the Storm Guardian the same? Didn't only the angry side love Yamamoto? Because the rest of his being, his soul, his heart, his gentleness, and rage. All of that belonged to the Sky.

The Storm Guardian shook his head. Of course, he should have known.

_A different kind of love, huh?_

"Don't make fun of me, baseball idiot!" Gokudera snapped after the Rain.

Because that was how their love worked. That was how they showed their love to each other. Because their real faces were for the Sky.

* * *

Tsuna watched with a soft smile on his face. "See? Everything worked out," he whispered softly.

"Are you sure, Tsuna?" the small form of the Vongola Tenth's tutor asked. "You could go to them."

The brown-haired boy stared one last time at his Rain and Storm Guardians. Then slowly, he shook his head. "No. They love each other. I will not hurt their love with my own."

With that spoken, the Tenth's eyes hardened. "I will protect their love with my all. Because they deserve happiness." His resolve firm, Tsuna left.

Reborn sighed softly. "Dame-Tsuna, you've grown up well. The job of Sky is to guard everyone without getting close..."

Shaking his head, Reborn turned back to glance at the two Guardians. Yamamoto was still laughing as he was being chased around by Gokudera's dynamites.

"But watching from afar is really painful, isn't it, Tsuna?"


End file.
